HEY KRISTAYNE.

6th November 2011

Post

Pains I can’t get over

I used to be someone who really liked to talk about my problems. But lately I have been neglecting telling people wassap. I’m always like, ” Oh, I’m okay! ” Or like, ” Ya know, same old! ” Idk.. I’m not really into telling people my issues anymore. I guess it’s because I’m just so tired of my own bullshit that I can’t talk about it anymore. It hurts me so much, honestly. People see me so well-fit, but I’m not. I’m so screwed up and I feel so out of place like all the time. I feel like I’m not close to any of my friends anymore simply because of just me. Myself.  Senior year is supposed to be a fun time with your friends, getting closer than ever, But that’s just not happening for me. I feel like I became such a quiet person to everyone. I’ve changed. It makes me sad because I want to remember my last year of high school the best way as possible but.. I’m not. My heart is so torn up by everything. I can’t type this blog without these tears in my eyes because I’m thinking about everything. “Home”, school, my friends, my family, and nothing is working out. My pain is just whooshing out at me right now because I have held it in for so long. I’m a push-over. I’m too nice. It’s true, I let people walk all over me ALL the freakin time and I don’t say a single thing. And no, it’s not because I’m a wuss or anything..  I just don’t sweat little problems like that because when you start going through crazy problems, thats when you don’t care about the small stuff because you are getting into the deeper shit that actually matters. I’m so fed up. Im exhausted. Most of time I’m at home sleeping because it’s better than thinking about the things that hurt all day.

To the people who have both parents, nice brothers and sisters, and great- ass friends. Praise the Lord to yawls. When you got problems, think about them because they’re the ones who make your life worth living. Appreciate them, tell them you love em, do something nice for them right now, because I’m telling you, If I had the chance to do so, I would do it in a heartbeat.